Finding the balance

As a mother of two young boys, my time – the time where my brain can focus on what I need- is almost non-existent. I have to be very conscious of carving out that space. Sometimes it means waking up at 5am or attempting to and sometimes it means staying up till midnight to decompress, work or clean. Either way something is always sacrificed. Sleep, quality time with family, quality work. Long story short, I have not mastered the ever changing balance between juggling being a mother, a partner, a creative or business owner quite yet. We all know there is more to the list but I will leave it at that.

The upside to all of this is that I know it is possible.

I have experienced glimpses of it. I find a delicate balance and for a time there is peace and harmony. As I evolve, as my children and partner evolve and the society we live in shifts, that delicate balance becomes well…off balance and I begin again.

Our most recent shift? The Covid 19 outbreak. As an artist who makes her living from being social, social distancing meant distance from everyone and my income. A full stop to my income. No more performing at special events, corporate events or tribute shows. No more children’s music classes or programs with my Business The Teeny Tinys. It hit hard but before this starts sounding like a pitty show, I don’t give up and am resilient. I know what I have to do and have already started. So for mama’s who can relate, just keep swimming! Any Nemo fans out there? Lol. Don’t give up or surrender when the rocks feel like they are burying you. You keep breathing and climbing! Here is how I am thriving in the the most recent hit off balance and juggling family life (which now includes homeschooling), business and all the things…

01. Adapt

Let go of what you once knew and make room for change. Embrace it. That does not mean accept what you do not believe in, it means accept what you cannot change and focus on what you can. That often means letting go of things that don’t serve you positively. Old ways of thinking, habits and friends sometimes. Step out of your comfort zone! To do that I decided I would take my business online and connect with my community in a way I had never done before. I began offering free classes to families in need of stimulating activities for our children as we social distance ourselves encouraging moments of gratitude all throughout the day. In the process I have been able to uplift others and myself which has been extremely helpful during this time.

2. Create a schedule/routine.

For me, schedules and routine are life savers. Am I always able to stick close to them? No, however having a detailed outline of how the day will go and detailed to do lists is key. It holds me accountable and helps me track my progress. It keeps my children and family life healthy. This schedule includes everything from, cooking, cleaning, studying, family time and self care. Journaling, meditating, exercise, a walk, yoga, a bike ride, wind down time before bed ( this is always great) a foot rub, candles, essential oils. Create a schedule that suits you and be disciplined and consistent.

3. Set Boundaries.

During this time, people will have a lot to say, the news, social media etc. It was overwhelming and then I realized I have control over what I allow to enter my mind and spirit. I began doing my own research, connecting with other mothers and people in my community to learn, grow and become more self sufficient. Let people know you cannot be everything to everyone at the same time. It’s okay to say no. Your own mind needs boundaries. Thoughts and feelings of guilt can kick in, am I helping enough? Am I good enough? Those thoughts need boundaries and often I have conversations with myself! Yes I do. I am worthy and I deserve this! Positive affirmations all day baby! Determine what you need to stay healthy and strong and set those boundaries.

To close off, think of three things you are grateful for right now, ask your children and see what they say. Stay strong in your mind by maintaining healthy thoughts and being gentle with yourself. Breathe and trust the process. I got this! You got this!

By Aria Zenua